There is a part of me that loves the drama of life…
It loves the chaos.
It loves the mess.
Even when it’s exhausted me.. it’s given me something to fixate on in the moments when I desperately want to avoid myself.
There’s something about drama that has always felt familiar & safe.
Even though a large part of myself craves the quiet, peaceful, undisturbed space…
Another part of me continues to crave chaos & distraction because it’s what I know.
So I will pick things apart.
I’ve caught myself picking apart myself & those I love to keep them at a safe distance.
I’ve gone digging within myself & my relationships to find something wrong… something to work on.
I make a big mess & then have to clean it all up.
But a part of my shadow loves it.
Because it gets to continue hiding when this pattern consumes me.
This is where the shadow alchemy work comes into play…
This practice has transformed my life.
I’m able to watch these patterns play out within myself instead of letting them consume me unconsciously.
It becomes quite entertaining to sit back & watch the unfolding now that I have this perspective.
I can choose to course correct when I witness it come up now.
Or I can choose continue feeding the chaos & shadow.
It can be a conscious choice rather than an unconscious limitation.
Does this resonate for you?
Do you ever find yourself creating drama in your life creating more of the thing that you say your don’t really want?
I invite you to get curious about this part of yourself…
What are you getting out of the drama?
If you’re interested in diving deeper into shadow work, this is something I explore with my one on one clients.
Head here to check out my current offerings.
Apply to work together one on one – here